Parenting

Santa Stress

Why do parents force their kids to see Santa?

I find it so weird.

They say it’s for the kids but the kid is crying so what are you doing? What the hell are you doing?

You know Santa isn’t real right? He isn’t some good guy that you need to appease. He’s just a bloke dressed up in a suit.

You probably spend your time telling you children about stranger danger but come December you find yourself willing your reluctant child to go sit on some strange blokes knee. What is that all about?
My theory is that we get so caught up  the festive period.  We can lose our minds. We overeat, over spend and over enthusiastically try to get our children to enjoy all aspects of what we believe Christmas to be, even if quite clearly they aren’t.

Seeing miserable kids on social media posts is not my idea of ‘tis the season to be jolly’ It all seems so unnecessary? As soon as you realise  Olivia or Jack aren’t having it and get the hell out of there. Example, you go to the park for the first time and your little person bawls her eyes out on the swing.  You don’t say what the heck we are here now and push her higher.  You stop and find something else for her too enjoy. 

I’ve seen comments such as “ he hated visiting Santa last year will go again, hopefully he likes it” Leave it hun! Go to the cinema instead or Wacky Warehouse. Visiting Father Christmas is what I would class as non essential.

I don’t for one moment think people are purposefully doing it it distress their children. I’m not referring to the children that are having a good time. I’m not calling for a Santa Claus ban.  As a Christmas lover I may be missing the point so would really love to hear your views. 

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parenting

My kids having to see their dad every weekend just isn’t fair! 

My break up journey

Almost 3 years on, it’s been a roller coaster journey of emotions, change and learning. Without writing and discussing everything I think I may have gone crazy (no exaggeration) It’s been an emotional drain at times but also a huge learning process.

Things a not perfect now but it’s useful to reflect and see where the journey began and how far you’ve come.

I hope the documentation I can help others dealing with a messy break up, co-parenting, separating emotions and all other areas of co-parenting with someone you once loved but now can’t stand the sight of (just being honest).
A women’s journey break up, court and shared care.
Part 1 The Initial Break up!

The lead up to the break up
9 years into our relationship and life just wasn’t the same. We’d had a great positive relationship and partnership and this was fading away. We’d always had a mostly great relationship. We did things as a couple and as a family we have many fond memories. Looking back the change began when I returned to work after maternity leave with my second son (possibly before on reflection). We just weren’t on the same page. I went back to work and was given extra responsibility. I soon realised this was not what I wanted…I’d become a teacher to have a better lifestyle for my children. I wasn’t, I was tired, felt restricted and lived for weekends and school holidays. I wanted more, I wanted freedom, this was not the life I wanted to continue to live.
Everything began to dwindle, our home, our family time and our relationship. Things didn’t improve, I made the decision that I did not want to continue. We both deserved to be happy and we weren’t. My children deserved their parents to be happy…after all happy people make happy parents.
After a 10 year relationship and sharing the responsibility and care of our children it was now time decide how much time we should have.
I’ll be honest, separating my feelings towards him and my boys was the hardest thing initially. The thought of not seeing them for a day (or even more was heartbreaking)
Naively I thought we’d be able to amicably sort arrangements for the children between us. Why wouldn’t we? We’d had a great positive relationship and always put our boys first.   After a break up though things change you see a different side to them and yourself.
Unfortunately we were unable to agree.

Parenting · Uncategorized

Things to do…..October half term

Are the kids bored yet? Nearly half way through the half term holidays…and sometimes it’s hard to keep them busy.
If you’re home with the kids this half term and have run out of things to keep the little ones entertained….check out our list below
1. Check out you local library they often have free events throughout the holidays.
2. Movie day – (really a day you can lounge about and do nothing…eat junk food and it’s Free and you don’t have to leave the house.
Or visit you local Odeon, Vue or Reel cinema for an early morning, cheaper than usual kids club cinema. £2.50 or less for selected films.
3. Go for a walk…..whether it’s sunny or rainy embrace the weather and go for a walk it’s a great way to unwind and wear the kids out.
4. Make a cake….great rainy day activity.
5. Visit a local farm…it’s pumpkin season and almost Halloween…why not go pumpkin picking.
Fancy treating the kids to lunch or dinner this week. Find your local Toby carvery, Giraffe, Prezzo, Frankie and bennys, La Tasca and Hungry Horse. Kids eat FREE or for £1 with a full paying adult.
Visiting London this week?
Kids go absolutely free to The Shard in London.
Check out these useful websites
Andrea x